This phone does not count as crap. We will put up a fight for this phone if we ever have a land line again. This phone is one of the, if not THE greatest piece from the Basement Collection.

In the old house (that is, the house we moved out of in 1992), the maroon phone’s aesthetic wonder went overlooked in our father’s basement office, where the grubby hands of three daughters under ten could do minimal damage. Over the years, it was claimed by various family members who, for whatever reasons, valued aesthetics over being able to check phone messages. The maroon phone has a satisfying ring, a proper ring, not the robotic beeping of a modern phone. Dialing the maroon phone is an appealing audio sensory experience, with the comforting whirr of the rotary dial and the muted ding in between each number.

We blame the possession of this phone for the fact that our youngest sister picks things like old-timey meat grinders up from the sidewalk and brings them home.

Dollar value: $100,000,000.00

Nostaligia value: Come on.

Disposal status: Never.